Wednesday, 24 November 2010

The myth of "happily ever after"

Why is it that we're all so sentimental when we see two people wanting to spend the rest of their lives together? Is this thing called marriage so commercialised that all there is to think about is hearts, flowers, wedding cakes and honeymoons? Sadly it is. People are more interested in the quantity of a union over the quality. No one seems interested in who these two people are and what might befall them once the happy couple remove their rose coloured spectacles.

Most marriages are in shambles. One partner puts up with the other. One partner makes most of the compromises, usually the weaker personality. One partner takes care of the practical tasks with martyr-like zeal but what lies beneath? Festering resentments, daily frustration and mind blowing abuse.
But it's all so subtle that we barely notice the erosion of self esteem.

We sit and ponder why we are fearful, why we procrastinate and are indecisive. The reason being is that our significant other  made us that way and we're too afraid to admit that we were a little bit like that in the first place. After all, our greatest teachers (parents) were dysfunctional themselves and passed on a whole host of quirky behaviour to their offspring.

So what do we do? Do we rage against the machine of society? I say yes. We become quiet rebels, single minded and determined to overthrow the yoke of expectation that partnerships place on us.
We never have to suffer if we accept that it's unacceptable for someone to inflict pain on us.

Let's opt for supportive partners, the wind beneath our wings who are secure in themselves and never try to steal our thunder. Don't know where most of them live but it's not on this planet for sure!

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