Sunday, 4 September 2011

Divorce is the new marriage

Divorce is another kind of marriage…in my view…it can be ideal. Naturally this depends on your personal circumstances – the person you are and the person you strive to be.
Marriage is complicated because it involves two people. That means dealing with two sets of feelings, fears and, of course, it can be double the fun or double the trouble!

Some people believe that love conquers all but…. when you find a trail of dirty underwear on the floor, the bath not rinsed out, the trash not put out (despite more than a few reminders) and a heap of unwashed breakfast dishes in the sink at 6pm – you’ll soon find that love goes out of the window!  Not to mention all the other irritations that you encounter on the emotional scale - angry words and deadly looks!
Married people (particularly those in the long term state) are not the happiest of souls.
They moan, complain, gripe and grumble about their spouses and don’t see that this dissatisfaction spills over to their careers, their social life and relationships with other family members. The lucky few are those that enjoy a deep sense of fulfillment in living with their life partner. Marriage is a journey from which you can take many a detour!

Bye...Bye...misery...hello happiness

Marriage is terrifying trial and endless error. If its our first, then we have nothing to compare it with except maybe our parents' (and you never wanted to end up like them!). 

We can't count on marriage since a decision taken in your 20’s will not necessarily mean the same thing in your 40’s.  Our values, our minds and our personal style mature and if your partner is unable to accommodate that then its better to part. 
Marriage is not a romantic bubble - since love is a chemical that's has changeable properties - but it can be a try-out for our dreams of eternal togetherness.
 I have no problem with try outs but be prepared for success and failure - they are your finest teachers and you'll soon learn whether you're victim or victor.
Solitude is sexy
In my opinion, two do not become one and two do not make one strong.
Those who believe in coupledom will find it that he's often working late; playing sports, bringing work home, jet-washing the patio, having drinking sessions or surfing (with not a drop of water in sight)!

Wherever you stand on the M issue, remember that your heart must be in it.
Divorce can be devastation but so can living with someone who does not share your values or interests. I know people who were long term singletons and once they entered into matrimony discovered that they were even lonelier!
Freedom fighter!
Divorce can be the best kind of relationship if you know how to handle it.  It will bear the hallmarks of an embittered coupling….you'll disagree on the same issues that you did during marriage BUT from a distance…sometimes the exchanges are vitriolic - sometimes not!

Since you married "for better or for worse" then this is the "worse" so bite the bullet! What did you want - a bed of roses??

From a new, separate, vantage point, you can both laugh and cry. You know you were both right and wrong but could not co-exist amicably in the same space.
To divorce is to embrace an attitude of freedom and freedom is the best kind of love.
Divorce can spark creativity and be a launchpad for self-discovery.
What’s on the inside shows on the outside and happiness is infectious (so make sure you have a de-tox).
Getting to know yourself is a worthwhile challenge - shed your baggage and travel light.

It's not the end….it's just a piece of paper. Your former partner will still hang onto the dregs of what was and your children are a reminder of what you meant to each other.

Divorce is a spiritual lifestyle choice....it’s the beginning of something new and definitely a healthy option.

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