Sunday, 7 October 2012

Sacred Trust


Trust is one of the fundamentals that underpins our daily lives. We trust people and things to help us advance in any small or large way. We assume trust is something inherent in the human psyche and that there’s an abundance of it. That belief is largely false and, a reality check, soon shows us that the very opposite is true.

When we arrive into this world we trust our parents. Of course we do, they’re our caregivers and so we come with expectations….at least to be fed and clothed. Our spirits equally clamour for sustenance as we hold the gaze of our mother’s and father’s eyes and then their hands as we take our first steps. We have no one else to follow so like ducklings we follow them into the water…be it safe or dangerous. We then move onto teachers, employers, friends and lovers and we get let down. When we’re down in the dirt, we berate ourselves for being too trusting, too gullible.

Can I trust you?
When our parents reveal their foibles and idiosyncrasies we don’t question it until we reach an age of maturity. Many people never question the authority figures in their lives and those become the sheep who follow the herd. 

Blind faith and sacred trust are not the same. Blind faith suggests a little softness in the head but trust is a bond between two hearts - unbreakable - sometimes.

Trust is sacred only when we nurture our higher self. Otherwise trust turns into a frivolous exchange between two people who feel that they can outwit the other. If you’ve ever watched an episode of “Cheaters” you’ll see how emotional people become when their trust is violated. 

Relationships throw up a maelstrom of trust issues. I’ve had my share. Sometimes I’ve been the trusting and the distrusted. Trust is a reflection of your emotional circuitry. When you’ve placed your trust and had it reciprocated then you'll love as if you've never been hurt. When your trust has been misplaced then you’ll be wary and watchful. You’ll feel as if you’re damaged but, in truth, you’ve been broken into little pieces for re-modelling. 

Trust has much to do with feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin. When you trust yourself you give others the benefit of the doubt and don’t sweat the small stuff. When you don’t, you play out disaster scenarios in your mind.
“He didn’t call me so he must have had an accident!” He said he was playing golf today but his secretary’s out of the office too”.

The mind games you play on yourself are far worse than any diasters that could befall you. Just don’t play them and put them back into the box in your mind’s highest shelf.

The only person we can trust is yourself so we need to spend time finding out who we are. Not the impulsive self that wants to splash out on something designer or the self that constantly seeks to please. These “selfs” are the products of our egos and when we get too wrapped up in them we become selfish. We fish for this and that – compliments, food, relationships. We’re not too choosy whom we trust and sometimes we find it easier to trust anyone but ourselves.

 When faced with conflict and struggle we often wonder if we can get through it? You can never know enough to trust and often it’s a mixture of luck and good environment. If you’ve been born into a healthy situation, trust will be natural but if you haven’t then you’ll struggle with it all your life.

Lack of trust damages any relationship. Even in your job your boss trusts you to get on and do it. When fundamental trust has been denied to you then there’s come a time when you feel as if you’re falling apart. Your defences may seem strong but even the smallest gesture of distrust will hit them hard. My trust was hit by a wrecking ball and it's not been fully rebuilt.

Trust is a relationship that I've not had much success with.  I’ve got to accept that disappointment is part of the journey to trustworthiness just as failures are the pathway to success. Once I get my head around these and meet the trustful then I'll let go of my mis-trusting nature.

 You never get more than you can handle but why does God trust me so much?!!

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