The pursuit of inspiration

Relationships are not about happiness. Relationships are not about finding “the one”. Relationships are not about “happily ever after” and they are most certainly not “made in heaven”!

Relationships are what they are. Whoever engages in them can only bring into them what they already have – nothing more. Don’t ask a leopard to change their spots…at least not overnight….or over a decade or two. 

Changing your ways can be a lifetime’s work and sometimes it’s  near impossible to change ingrained habits and ways of thinking.

You are my inspiration but not my happiness

Nevertheless we try since, as humans , we just can’t leave it alone. 

There’s something challenging and  rewarding to speculate, manipulate and propagate to improve our lot. It’s plain crazy to just accept things the way they are. We thrive on the struggle even though it wears us down to the bone.Life was never meant to be this hard and there’s a simple benchmark that’ll measure the strength and value of your intimate relationship(s). 

Inspiration is the most valuable asset a person can bring to their relationships. At the start of a relationship there’s plenty of it……you and your significant other are just oozing with it. 

You can think of a million and one things that’ll make your partner happy – going on a picnic on a glorious summer’s day, a moonlight walk under a canopy of stars, walking through snow or autumn leaves, reading your favourite poem aloud, a candle-lit dinner made to eat in, cuddling up together to watch a scary movie,  listening to your favourite music,  holding hands and gazing into each others’ eyes, watching your partner as he/she sleeps, thanking god for the beautiful children you’ve created together, wanting the day to never end and feeling as if you’re on top of the world. Simply put, inspiration makes a better person out of you. 

Notice that none of these things cost any money; it’s not a motivating factor. Inspiration doesn’t have to break the bank!

Inspiration made me!

Happiness and inspiration are quite distinct entities. Happiness is a journey you take alone. Along the way, there’ll be contributors to it but they are never the source of it. The potential for happiness lies within you and you have to allow it into your life. There won’t be a constant stream of it but, now and again, you’ll find yourself getting happy for no reason. Happiness is mostly to do with being yourself.

Inspiration, on the other hand, is something you have to choose. If happiness is a passive then inspiration is its active twin. Whatever inspiration you bring to your relationship each day is the measure of its success. Planning projects, hobbies, holidays, surprise parties, barbecues and special, alone times fuels inspiration. Relationships need creativity to thrive and prosper.

You can't cage your soul

Sadly, many of them flounder ,due to one or both party’s inertia and indolence. What’s inspirational about seeing your partner lying on the couch like a lump of lard whilst you put out the trash? What’s inspirational about being left to do the dishes after you’ve slaved over a hot stove? What’s inspirational about watching your partner on the computer laughing as he/she instant messages her friends? What’s inspirational about watching your partner in a fit of road rage? A significant other can crush the day following bouts of temper and emotional abuse. Words, spoken and unspoken, leave scars that are not easily healed.

Inspiration + Happiness = Love; but this is not an equation you find very often in the home. The absence of inspiration is the absence of love. Not easy to accept but it’s true.  A crumbling marriage / relationship has lost inspiration and it takes two to make or break it.

Going solo...inspiration will take you far

Leaving a relationship can spark inspiration. It doesn’t always take two. After years of trying to find inspiration together you might just realise that you can have it on your own. It’s myth that you need to be “a couple” to find a little inspiration.

Inspiration to our souls is like oxygen to our lungs. We live an unfulfilled life when we try to get by without it. Existing without daily upliftment is to be deprived of sunlight and water. We become withered automatons – doing what we have to, to just pay the bills and survive.

I paint with no hands

When you were born you were imbibed with the will to live. Inspiration was breathed into you and, taking your first steps, you knew there was a big world out there to conquer. Somewhere down the line, your parents, teachers and care givers told you you were going the wrong way and you believed them.

You took a detour into monotony and mental slavery. You forgot about inspiration as you tried to live up to other peoples’ expectations. Inspiration doesn’t follow the crowd and neither should you!

Seek and find it within and then propel it out of you. God knows you want to. Look for it in every corner and dark place – there’s no where on this planet that doesn’t have it. You’ll find it in the strangest and toughest places. It’s not always pretty! 

I run with no legs

Sometimes it’s called blessings and, when you recognize that, you’ll know you’ve had a brush with inspiration. Birthing your dreams requires inspiration as your mid-wife. Inspiration can seem as elusive as a rare butterfly but once you have it you’ll never want to let it go.

Inspirational people change the world and that's what you're on this earth to do.