Relationships are not about happiness. Relationships are not
about finding “the one”. Relationships are not about “happily ever after” and
they are most certainly not “made in heaven”!
Relationships are what they are. Whoever engages in them can
only bring into them what they already have – nothing more. Don’t ask a leopard
to change their spots…at least not overnight….or over a decade or two.
your ways can be a lifetime’s work and sometimes it’s near impossible to change ingrained habits
and ways of thinking.
|You are my inspiration but not my happiness|
Nevertheless we try since, as humans , we just can’t leave it
There’s something challenging and rewarding to speculate,
manipulate and propagate to improve our lot. It’s plain crazy to just accept
things the way they are. We thrive on the struggle even though it wears us down
to the bone.Life was never meant to be this hard and there’s a simple benchmark
that’ll measure the strength and value of your intimate relationship(s).
Inspiration is the most valuable asset a person can bring to
their relationships. At the start of a relationship there’s plenty
of it……you and your significant other are just oozing with it.
You can think of
a million and one things that’ll make your partner happy – going on a picnic on
a glorious summer’s day, a moonlight walk under a canopy of stars, walking
through snow or autumn leaves, reading your favourite poem aloud, a candle-lit
dinner made to eat in, cuddling up together to watch a scary movie, listening to your
favourite music, holding hands and
gazing into each others’ eyes, watching your partner as he/she sleeps, thanking
god for the beautiful children you’ve created together, wanting the day to
never end and feeling as if you’re on top of the world. Simply put, inspiration makes a better person out of you.
Notice that none of
these things cost any money; it’s not a motivating factor. Inspiration
doesn’t have to break the bank!
|Inspiration made me!|
Happiness and inspiration are quite distinct entities.
Happiness is a journey you take alone. Along the way, there’ll be
contributors to it but they are never the source of it. The potential for
happiness lies within you and you have to allow it into your life. There won’t
be a constant stream of it but, now and again, you’ll find yourself getting happy
for no reason. Happiness is mostly to do with being yourself.
Inspiration, on the other hand, is something you have to
choose. If happiness is a passive then inspiration is its active twin. Whatever
inspiration you bring to your relationship each day is the measure of its
success. Planning projects, hobbies, holidays, surprise parties, barbecues and
special, alone times fuels inspiration. Relationships need creativity to thrive
|You can't cage your soul|
Sadly, many of them flounder ,due to one or both party’s
inertia and indolence. What’s inspirational about seeing your partner lying on
the couch like a lump of lard whilst you put out the trash? What’s
inspirational about being left to do the dishes after you’ve slaved over a hot
stove? What’s inspirational about watching your partner on the computer
laughing as he/she instant messages her friends? What’s inspirational about
watching your partner in a fit of road rage? A significant other can crush the
day following bouts of temper and emotional abuse. Words, spoken and unspoken,
leave scars that are not easily healed.
Inspiration + Happiness = Love; but this is not an equation
you find very often in the home. The absence of inspiration is the absence of
love. Not easy to accept but it’s true.
A crumbling marriage / relationship has lost inspiration and it takes
two to make or break it.
|Going solo...inspiration will take you far|
Leaving a relationship can spark inspiration. It doesn’t always take
two. After years of trying to find inspiration together you might just realise
that you can have it on your own. It’s myth that you need to be “a couple” to
find a little inspiration.
Inspiration to our souls is like oxygen to our lungs. We live
an unfulfilled life when we try to get by without it. Existing without daily
upliftment is to be deprived of sunlight and water. We become withered
automatons – doing what we have to, to just pay the bills and survive.
|I paint with no hands|
When you were born you were imbibed with the will to live.
Inspiration was breathed into you and, taking your first steps, you knew there
was a big world out there to conquer. Somewhere down the line, your parents,
teachers and care givers told you you were going the wrong way and you believed
You took a detour into monotony and mental slavery. You
forgot about inspiration as you tried to live up to other peoples’
expectations. Inspiration doesn’t follow the crowd and neither should you!
Seek and find it within and then propel it out of you. God
knows you want to. Look for it in every corner and dark place – there’s no where
on this planet that doesn’t have it. You’ll find it in the strangest and
toughest places. It’s not always pretty!
|I run with no legs|
Sometimes it’s called blessings and,
when you recognize that, you’ll know you’ve had a brush with inspiration. Birthing
your dreams requires inspiration as your mid-wife. Inspiration can seem as
elusive as a rare butterfly but once you have it you’ll never want to let it
Inspirational people change the world and that's what you're on this earth to do.
Labels: Well being