Saturday, 1 June 2013

The games people play

The games people play
Sex is a fascinating and controversial subject and promises to be so in the 21st century and beyond. The reason for  its endless enthrallment is due to the face that many people, young and old, are getting so little of it! If we can believe anything we read in the press healthy sex is in decline but extra-marital affairs, pornography, sex trafficking and other abuses are thriving!

In part, the rise of sexual deviance and crimes against children is reported to be due to the social media tools that help us keep “in touch” – Facebook, Twitter,  Instagram, Instant messaging, chatrooms, Facetime etc.  “Touching” someone in this century is no more the innocuous concept of yester year; there’s definitely no sentimentality afforded here.

In bygone days, to be touched would have meant to be moved to tears, have a lump in your throat when your heart and soul became perfectly aligned to an event or person that made you experience bliss….but not for long. Good feelings don’t always last very long and there are many people still wandering around on earth trying to get hold of some…..and never succeed.

These “failures” are the lost souls (often men) that wreak havoc on the women and children that come into their path. Such individuals or misfits become sexual predators to satisfy an insatiable lust to hurt, destroy, desecrate something beautiful and tender. A woman or  child has just the right amount of vulnerability to pose a challenge for a male who is struggling to cope with his sexual dysfunctions. He’s a messed up person who thinks that sex is love, sex is violence, sex is a game, good sex is fuelled by alcohol and drugs, sex is best when it’s forced, sex doesn’t hurt anyone and everyone wants “bad” sex!

Monsters, who are the perpetrators of violent sex crimes,  are made by Google. , we’re told. The internet giant is the latest company in the frame for the unlimited accessibility to child pornography. Nowadays, a man can type in “girls in glasses” into the Google images search function and be confronted by a series of lewd pictures (and videos) of children performing vile and sadistic acts through adult coercion.

Innocence in childhood is under siege. In fact, it takes monumental parental effort to keep their child’s mind directed onto to pure and simple activities. Many parents are themselves stuck on a screen and the battle to keep your kid “screen free”is hard fought and often lost. Children are sexualized on all fronts, from books, magazines, music videos, TV shows. They can’t escape wherever they go and if they have parents who lack the ability to focus young minds towards the meaningful and appropriate.
Can you afford it?

The fault doesn’t just lie with Google but with our beliefs about sex. Sex is a currency that we  squander. We use sex to get what we want….until it backfires on us. Sex is a shallow exchange when it is not consensual or shared by two who know how to be loving outside of the bedroom. Forget the sexual revolution and think sexual recession. Sex is not a mere bodily function and good sex is all in the mind.  When we understand our minds then we’ll understand sexual dynamics a little better.

Sex has always been a barter system. A man shows a woman affection and she “re-pays” him with sex. A woman feels bored and lonely so she thinks sex (with a willing partner) will fill the gap. It’s said that a woman marries for security and a man marries for sex – truth is, that neither gets what they truly want. A man or woman’s worth is not in their sex and we need to be teaching that to the next generation.

Sex is a currency that is misused. There’s much conflict around why sex does and doesn’t happen. Sex sometimes happens through intimidation and “doing one’s duty”. Sex doesn’t happen when the love has died and a quiet desperation sets in.

Healthy love does not have to end in sex. I would trade sex for kindness, gentleness and companionship any day. One true friend is worth a ton of cheap lovers. You can’t laugh at your lover (for fear of offence) but you can laugh about anything with a kindred spirit. If that love, laughter and respect spills over into something physical then you’re onto a winner.

If we laughed and smiled more often than we had sex the world would be a better (and funnier) place. Sex and love are not like a horse and carriage. If you learn to ride the horse then you won’t need a carriage! If children learn that love is more important than sex then we can re-model the world.

Sex is a wild animal that requires restraint and regular training.  Sex is too volatile a currency to want to make heavy investments in. We need more fun and less sex. Getting lost in a good book (maybe even writing one), a warm bath, slipping into a pair of soft, fluffy slippers or having a night in alone with scented can be more nurturing than sex.

Sex is a currency so spend it wisely and always be the queen in your boudoir!



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