Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Getting rich slowly....inside and out!

Another day...another dollar

In one way or another we’re all creators…we build homes, families, friendships, careers, hobbies, numerous sources of entertainment and a heap of problems. When it comes to the latter we don’t always accept that we’ve created those.
We check into Victimville and blame our difficulties on everyone but ourselves.

If we are truly creators then we are building a life as well as financial reserves. I have never been around financially astute people so my wealth building is an assortment of writing everything down in an accounts book and reading self-help books.  I also do my utmost to live within my means.

In principle, I’m a model of solvency but, in truth,  it’s just a smoke screen. I gain insights into what I spend on but it doesn't seem to improve my budgeting. The major improvement I’ve made in the last few years is that I’ve cut up all my credit cards.

Pearls from Wisdomona have far more value
To put it bluntly, I have debts. Much of it caused by a lack of financial assertiveness during my  marriage. I had a stable career and consider myself educated and intelligent but I allowed myself to be swayed….by love. 

I believed in love with a passion and fervour that blinded my rational psyche. My head was a jumble of romantic notions and false, second-hand beliefs….from books, television, parents and friends.

Love and money do not go together, or that’s the way it looks to me. Perhaps selfless love and serious wealth do not. History tells us that spiritual intensity that spills over into devotion and compassion, found in saints and sages is a barrier to wealth building. In a nutshell, every saint is poor and every sinner is rich since money is the root of all evil…right?!

If you are what you eat then, even more so you are what you spend….let’s see....hmm.
I thought I’d be spending my life in a cottage in the countryside. I thought I might be spending it with a loving husband and family. I thought I’d be spending my time writing. A room with a view is all I needed to call a sanctuary to ponder and plot my best seller.  
I thought I’d be spending money to create new experiences....guess debt is a new experience the first time you find yourself in it!

Inner wealth
Money…which was the furthest thing from my young mind….would be plentiful; not sure how but I was a die-hard optimist! By nature, I’m easy going. I don’t lay down the law, strive to get my way or demand this and that. Easy going people get trampled over and taken advantage of. 

Most of the time no one notices them as they blend into the background. I lived a clichéd life of quiet desperation until one day I decided to take a long, hard look at myself and the mess I’d created.

I did not achieve ,any of my youthful ambitions as I was taking no worthwhile course of action.
 I talked solvency but thrived on borrowed money.

I had to face the cold, hard facts:

I did not have a supportive partner with whom I felt safe enough to communicate my needs
 I came to expect and accept shortages of money, time and love
My social circle consisted of people who were stuck in a rut and wanted to stay that way; it took a  toll on my natural enthusiasm
·       I felt that joy and love were not my birthright and were for other people
·       I felt guilt over showing love to myself
I     I was an emotional spender
·      I wrote .....but the words did not flow easily and writer’s block was just another word for the angst felt over my inadequacies
       I hid myself under a mountain of responsibilities
I     I lost trust and confidence in myself 

 When I finally stepped into the light,  I was laden with complex  emotional and financial baggage.
My self-esteem was as low as my liquid assets.

Little by little, I find my load lightening but there are days when I carry the weight of regret over my misspent youth.

Feeling rich
Getting rich on the outside means a little more bling...shiny, things come into your life that add the X-factor so your ego is happy; even if its for a short time. 

Getting rich on the inside means feeling peace, love and gratitude for all that you are and all that you have. Inside you know you’re a queen when you’ve tamed your spending habits, made a few good investments (in yours truly most of all) and are sharing your bounty. 

Life is never so rich as when you’re not spending money!

In life there are no mistakes or failures, only lessons learned. I’ve learnt a few painful ones and my one wish now is to get back on track to achieving financial freedom. 

I want it to be easy but there are no short cuts and I’m taking the road less travelled. My financial story is no sorry tale. Inwardly, I’m building a far richer life than ever before so it shouldn’t be long before it shows on the outside too.

I might be going at a snail's pace but the important thing is that I'm going in the right direction this time and with peace of mind.



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