|Another day...another dollar|
In one way or
another we’re all creators…we build homes, families, friendships, careers,
hobbies, numerous sources of entertainment and a heap of problems. When it
comes to the latter we don’t always accept that we’ve created those.
into Victimville and blame our difficulties on everyone but ourselves.
If we are truly
creators then we are building a life as well as financial reserves. I have never been around
financially astute people so my wealth building is an assortment of writing
everything down in an accounts book and reading self-help books. I also
do my utmost to live within my means.
In principle, I’m a model of solvency but, in truth, it’s just a smoke screen. I gain insights
into what I spend on but it doesn't seem to improve my budgeting. The major
improvement I’ve made in the last few years is that I’ve cut up all my credit
|Pearls from Wisdomona have far more value|
To put it
bluntly, I have debts. Much of it caused by a lack of financial assertiveness
during my marriage. I had a stable
career and consider myself educated and intelligent but I allowed myself to be
I believed in love with a passion and fervour that blinded my
rational psyche. My head was a jumble of romantic notions and false,
second-hand beliefs….from books, television, parents and friends.
Love and money
do not go together, or that’s the way it looks to me. Perhaps selfless love and
serious wealth do not. History tells us that spiritual intensity that spills
over into devotion and compassion, found in saints and sages is a barrier to
wealth building. In a nutshell, every saint is poor and every sinner is rich
since money is the root of all evil…right?!
If you are what
you eat then, even more so you are what you spend….let’s see....hmm.
I thought I’d be
spending my life in a cottage in the countryside. I thought I might be spending
it with a loving husband and family. I thought I’d be spending my time writing.
A room with a view is all I needed to call a sanctuary to ponder and plot my
I thought I’d be spending
money to create new experiences....guess debt is a new experience the first
time you find yourself in it!
the furthest thing from my young mind….would be plentiful; not sure how but I was a die-hard optimist! By nature, I’m easy going. I don’t lay
down the law, strive to get my way or demand this and that. Easy going people
get trampled over and taken advantage of.
Most of the time no one notices them
as they blend into the background. I lived a clichéd life of quiet desperation
until one day I decided to take a long, hard look at myself and the mess I’d
I did not
achieve ,any of my youthful ambitions as I was taking no worthwhile course of
I talked solvency but thrived on borrowed money.
I had to face the
cold, hard facts:
I did not have a supportive
partner with whom I felt safe enough to communicate my needs
I came to expect and accept
shortages of money, time and love
My social circle consisted of
people who were stuck in a rut and wanted to stay that way; it took a toll on
my natural enthusiasm
I felt that joy and love were
not my birthright and were for other people
· I felt guilt over showing love
I I was an emotional spender
· I wrote .....but the words did
not flow easily and writer’s block was just another word for the angst felt over my inadequacies
I hid myself under a mountain
I I lost trust and confidence in myself
When I finally stepped into the light, I was laden with complex emotional and financial baggage.
My self-esteem was as low as my liquid
Little by little, I find my load lightening but there are days when I carry the weight of
regret over my misspent youth.
Getting rich on the outside means a little more bling...shiny,
things come into your life that add the X-factor so your ego is happy; even if
its for a short time.
Getting rich on the inside means feeling peace, love and
gratitude for all that you are and all that you have. Inside you know you’re a
queen when you’ve tamed your spending habits, made a few good investments (in yours truly most of all) and are sharing your bounty.
Life is never so rich as when you’re
not spending money!
In life there are no mistakes or failures, only lessons learned.
I’ve learnt a few painful ones and my one wish now is to get back on track to
achieving financial freedom.
I want it to be easy but there are no short cuts
and I’m taking the road less travelled. My financial story is no sorry tale.
Inwardly, I’m building a far richer life than ever before so it shouldn’t be
long before it shows on the outside too.
I might be going at a snail's pace but the important thing is that I'm going in the right direction this time and with peace of mind.