Monday, 15 October 2012

Can you love your enemies?


Loving your enemies is not only impossible but improbable.  Love is not the first emotion that comes to mind when we hear of hurt, bullying and generally anti-social behavior. The animalistic nature in some of our fellow men make them more likely to torment, defile and destroy someone or something. Yes, notice when your enemy gets one over you he/she is enjoying it on some depraved level.

Notice the villain in any good action thriller, he’s laughing and taking real pleasure in gouging out the eyes of the good guy. Baddies, in all walks of life, from petty fraudsters to drugs barons are living it up. They’re driving the best cars, living in the best houses and throwing their money around.

We don’t love our enemies but we sometimes imagine what our lives would have been like if we’d had more devil-may-care moments. Enemies have side-stepped their conscience and are doing whatever comes naturally…even if it’s not legitimate. They’re bold as brass with cold hearts to match. They don’t care what other people think. They might be heros to the criminal fraternity if more of them didn’t get caught.

My lover turned enemy
Nowadays, it’s not easy to distinguish between an enemy and friend as they wear clever disguises. “Friends” come to you as a sympathetic ear, a colleague at work, an old school friend,  even members of your family – someone who listens and makes you feel “wanted” and “important”. This is a dangerous path as it gives rise to the idea that somehow you are inadequate. Of course, none of us are perfect but we should not seek friends to fill an empty space inside us nor to kill time.

Enemies are put into our lives to teach us valuable lessons or so we’re led to believe by personal development coaches. Resisting our enemies is the only way to overcome them but if we fail to use the correct approach we’ll have blood on our hands (and the carpet!).

I think enemy is a relative term as we’ve probably invited him in, engaged in small talk, had dinner and slept with him.  He’s come to harm us but we didn’t see it coming or did we see an inkling and dismiss it? Sometimes we stumble across enemies (without meaning to) as some of us have a pre-destined date with disaster, but the truth is, no one can predict how that first date will go!

Protection means declaring all out war on an enemy by reporting him/her to the correct authorities. Once this happens all hell is let loose and you’ll be pursued. Some people don’t have the strength to dob their enemies in and they continue living with them (but not loving them).

You may never be able to love your enemies but you could ignore them. Non-confrontation sometimes gets rid of the problem as you can’t pick a fight with someone who won’t. Sticks, stones and name calling does hurt. We’re sensitive beings and our self esteem is extremely fragile. 

Our enemies know it so they’ll do anything they can to break us. OF course we can get stronger but finding that strength doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years of pain before we understand that there’s not enough darkness to extinguish our light.

Forgiving is possible but not forgetting. Once tiny seeds of fear have taken root, it won’t be long before it’s grown into triffid! You can show tough love to your enemies but you can bet they won’t take kindly to it. Anytime you reveal your self-worth it’ll be irksome to them. Their mission is to keep you small and it’s too bad that you’re not playing that game anymore.

Think big, act big and keep on being yourself. You can avoid your enemies but love them….well …that depends!



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