Affluenza

Affluenza!

It’s official – I’m suffering from affluenza and regular bouts of temporary amnesia. I say this as I find myself in an ever increasing consumeristic mind-set. The particular strain of affluenza I have succumbed to is aspirational. I can’t afford full blown affluence yet and I sometimes forget that I have a lot of good stuff that makes for a comfortable life. But I want more….more goods, gadgets and toys to come into my life but, right at this moment, it’s not an option and cannot be for a long time…..at least until I achieve full solvency and rehabilitate my debt wish!

The easy methods of racking up debt is a sign of a deep, societal malady. Easy credit means we spend, spend, spend. Affluenza  is a socially transmitted disease and we wouldn’t suffer as much if we were hermits living in caves. It’s like an air-borne virus and anyone with a nose for hunting down the best bargains will sooner or later catch it. It’s only when governments apply austerity measures that we remember to slow down. Cutting back is a cruel reminder that we have over-consumed and now have to pay for it.

Economists and psychologists advise that the rise of materialism leads to greater inequality resulting in unhappiness. In addition, overwork, stress and anxiety  aggravates the condition until affluenza is like the common cold. My question is…. when has society ever been equal? I’m far above and far below some of my planet sharers in terms of income and influence.

Keeping up with the Jones’ is becoming a thing of the past. Firstly, we don’t really know who lives in our neighborhood anymore and, whatever they have, we only wonder if it was acquired by legitimate means. I don’t think we covet our neighbours’ goods since we don’t have enough time for gossiping at the garden gate. Desperate housewives are the paragons of affluenza:  idle, rich, married and dysfunctional – that’s the 21^st century Mrs Jones and she’s finding that the neighbours are keeping up nicely – thank you!

Affluence provides opportunities, freedom and visible signs of economic progress though satisfaction is not part of the package. We’re still not happy bunnies as we strive for more and we rarely feel that we have enough. In truth, we probably have a lot more than we need or want but the affluenza bug weakens the will.

 Less is definitely not more if you’ve ever travelled to impoverished places where vulnerable familiies live in a shack with poor sanitation, well below the breadline, ekeing out a living on rubbish dumps. However, you’ll have noticed that their social exchanges are rich. They care about each other. They share whatever they have and that includes a smile. They may be down trodden but they are not down hearted. Their life force is strong as they battle through adversity. Though many will always be victims of circumstance they believe in God and future prosperity.

We’ve never had to so good and that’s the main cause of our collective amnesia. We just don’t remember what it’s like not to have a job, money, enough food, car, insurance, mobile phone, PC or plain-old fashioned boredom. That’s what you call lucky and I guess we live in a paradise of sorts.

Affluence provides an elite membership to the “haves” club.  Our forefathers paved the way for a brave new world of riches and the least we can do is enjoy it. Western civilization has become a little sick at heart. We want progress but when it comes it feels like millstone around our necks.  We have dual incomes/ cars, multiple cells, homes, condos, domestic help, foreign travel,  eating out, shopping, nail art, tattoos but there’s a hole inside of us. Within, we’re unfulfilled but for our dream and desires to be curbed or realised it can take a few lifetimes.

 Overthinking is also a sign of excess. We plan, prepare, prioritise, organize, evaluate, discuss (endlessly) until we hit burn-out. As we breakdown we get full-blown amnesia and stare at our credit statement in disbelief when it arrives. We drown in whirlpools of guilt as we ruminate on those”little things” that have cost us dear.

Insecurity is a constant inner driver and he /she is a workaholic! Affluence has not provided us with a good night’s sleep or the ability to enjoy one day at a time. Still, we can’t go backwards and the only thing ahead of us is the open road.

I’ll take the high road, no matter the challenges, but I’ll bless the low road so that I can still be humbled by life’s largesse. For now, I’ll protect myself against the bitter backlash of affluenza with a large dose of daily gratitude. It’ll take a ton of conscious effort (and energy) to stop the onslaught of taking-it-for-granteditis but I know I can do it – atishoo! 

 

Singapore Sling-er

 

 

 

Following the recent death of Singapore’s Premier, Lee Kuan Yew, I offer some humble insights and a critique of his achievements and legacy.

 

Lee Kuan Yew was a visionary,  dictator,  tactician and  shiny kingpin. He was a political force so fierce that he tamed his country men and worked his government with all the panache of a circus ringmaster cracking a whip.

 

Born into an affluent Chinese family, LKY was a young man going places and his first port of call was Fitzwilliam College in Cambridge. He studied Law and was admitted to the bar in the 1950’s. Having studied voraciously and feeling the pull from his homeland he thought his education would be better served (sushi-style) on Singaporeans  ( snoozing in the Oriental sunshine was the furthest thing from his mind!).

 

LKY was a doer and the first thing he did upon returning to Singapore ( still under British rule) was to start up his own political party and challenge the Empire. The Empire, having relinquished a great many of its colonies by that time, maintained a stiff upper lip and gave in quietly to independence. LKY was eventually sworn in as Singapore’s first prime minister in 1959.

 

True to his robust work ethic, he introduced urban renewal, a house building programme, greater rights for women, educational reform and industrialisation. Another initiative was the merger with the Federation of Malayasia – but it proved a bridge too far.


Growing tensions between the Chinese and Malays made Singapore’s position untenable. LKY withdrew in sadness but was ever more determined that “Singapore shall be forever a sovereign democratic and independent nation, founded upon the principles of liberty and justice and ever seeking the welfare and happiness of the people in a most and just equal society."

 

However, there were seemingly impenetrable obstacles confronting LKY’s government, namely that of Singapore’s lack of resources and a limited defence capability. LKY launched a programme to transform it into a major exporter of finished goods.  He also encouraged foreign investment and and did his utmost to ensure a rising a standard of living for workers.

 

LKY was a skilful alchemist and changed Singapore’s fortunes. His primary focus being on prosperity and less on popularity.  With Incisive thinking and a towering ego (and no challenge from  an opposition party !) he birthed an efficiently run country  that other island nations could learn a thing or two from.

As a small islander myself now domiciled in a larger one, I admire his conviction and courage for stamping out a host of social maladies that hinder economic growth in a number of  corrupt and filth ridden colonies.

 

The problem I fear is that I have been spoilt and pampered by plain old human rights. I feel a society is better with them and my sensibilities recoil at the thought of  public floggings. Clean is good but I balk when it verges on an obsessive, compulsive disorder. LKY’s regime may be likened to a visit to your uncle’s home where your aunt doesn’t let you sit on the sofa for fear of creasing the cushions. Excesses can be wearing to the soul!

 

Sometimes "tasteful tyranny" is necessary to combat ignorance and ring in progressive change. LKY was not a man to wait for ideas to come of age  as they did in other First World democracies ((often at the cost of human life).


LKY’s “cruel to be kind” style of government reaped a rich reward. He was an unapologetic autocrat and perfectionist.  He took Singapore from Third to First world with ruthless determination and perhaps his way was the only highway.

 

Today, Singapore is the neat freak of the Indian Ocean and the ultimate stain removal regime. LKY waged a successful campaign on litter, grime, grease, dust, dirt, drugs, vulgarity and disrespect. Gum control is what matters here and what you put into your mouth as much as what comes out of it (spitting/profanity) is a cause for state concern. Spittle is classified as a toxic substance!

There has never been a need for a war on terror - blood and human debris are messy - and LKY would have had no truck with that.  Politeness is the order of the day and, a lack of it together with flagrant disregard of the rules will attract a public flogging. This is a society where you are named, shamed and encouraged to report discourtesy. Who wouldn’t welcome a little more civility from airport check in staff, bank tellers, shopkeepers, tax inspectors and the like?

 

LKY presided over a Bonsai kingdom, weeding out dissension and pruning back human rights (the ones that didn’t fit in with his ideologies!). Vibrant, out-of-the-box thinking that often gives rise to unique innovation would not be altogether comfortable in Singapore. Individualism and creativity  are a little frowned upon. Your thoughts are to be kept in check unless you have sought prior permission …....to think.

 

Singapore may shine like a cubic zirconium in Asia’s crown but this is not a pulsating, effervescent society. If there were state sponsored lobotomies then Singapore might be the market leader. However, cyclonic-turbo vacuum cleaners, shears, strimmers, electric mops, bidets and spitoons would go down a storm.

 

LKY was the Main Man, both feared and revered. Sweet and sour - he wasn’t everyone’s cup of (green) tea but he knew a few good tricks on how to build a country. History will remember LKY's heroic, rigid and  gum-slinging  style. Current leaders of chaos (aka third world democracies) please take note of his impressive (and shining) example.

 

 

 

 

What are little girls made of?

In the 21st century, girls are made of less sugar and spice and more of a cup cake with attitude, vicissitude and some gratitude. Little girls are now powerfully made and I'd like my little one to grow up one day to be:

.....wise and sassy, though she shouldn’t get bigger than her Jimmy Choo’s. A good head on strong shoulders just so that everyone knows she means business. Life’s tough enough for a girl in the 21^st century – and mine’s born at the tail end of one century and with her destiny to be found in another. She straddles a number of worlds and how she negotiates each one will be where her success (and failure) lies.

The modern woman has a power play role in life’s jungle. Life will pull her in many directions and into differing roles. I have no qualms with that but I’d want her to get past some of the conventions that dog many a career path. Marriage is unnecessary and there’s little security in the male/female coupling any longer – unless she’s extremely lucky. Motherhood is optional and, if she’s not an earth type there’s no need to fret. She can influence the next generation (not as a productionist) in a great many other ways. Procreating ideas and birthing them is a rewarding pursuit and one that I’d wish her to throw herself into whole heartedly.

The pace of her life will be fast and furious. She lives in a disposable society where relationships as much as consumer goods are not built to last. I hope I’ve managed to impart the 3R’s – re-invention, resilience and respect.

Today’s woman is a pioneer. She learns, she believes, she executes  and delivers– her motto will be that of a trail blazer. It’ll be a helluva journey and she’ll need all her emotional intelligence to push through the obstacles. She’s forging a path that future generations will walk on. The road I paved for her is in need of renewal and renovation.

She’ll need the stamina for re-invention -business woman cum adventurer. Motherhood should not cut her off from all other interests and pursuits – if you dream of golden sunsets on far off shores or crocodile hunting in the Florida Keys then take the kids. It’s a must that she follows her dreams no matter how dangerous I think they may be -  white water rafting or swimming with dolphins – may fortune smile down on her but if it doesn’t she’ll soon know what she’s made of. Her wish list doesn’t always have to meet with my approval though we could share the personal trainer!

!  She’ll be a risk taker, a woman who dares often and wins. Her schedule may be crammed with business and personal commitments but she can’t allow herself to become a corporate cog in anyone’s wheel. Rock solid confidence will smash that glass ceiling dear

 Cultivating independence of mind will enable her to dance to her own tune. It will be challenging on all fronts and she should be prepared to go to war many times to keep her peace.  A resilient spirit will allow her bounce back, up and over. Possessing a tough mind (tougher than most) will be invaluable and a not too tender heart – at least one that doesn’t break easily. Self-respect will be key– a little reverence goes a long way. I’d want her to value herself enough to say no and to say yes to things that deserve merit.

In the financial stakes, she’s got to learn to be part of the solution. The main problem being that when she sees trouble coming she doesn’t have to go on a date with it or even marry it!

She will have earned her degree in Sheconomics – loosely translated as -  taking care of her business before someone else does. Shopaholic tendencies and all things bling could undoubtedly be her Waterloo but she’ll curb those desires once she’s had a meeting with her financial adviser. Savings, Savings, savings shoud be her mantra – saving herself (for someone worthy) and for a rainy day.

Finances are the biggest troublemakers in relationships whether it be with a significant other or housemates. She’ll have to decipher the small print and get herself a PEP, that’s NOT Parties, Excitement and Prada! The shecomonist has a good head for figures and it’s more than counting calories and those curves in the mirror.

Tuning in her to her inner voice and negotiating between choices of the head and her heart will be her life’s work.  Heroic work awaits her and a healthy self-image that attracts the like minded to her will help along the way. I hope she has a supportive group of real friends and confidants (not merely the electronic kind found on social networking sites).

I wish for her mind to be uncluttered; free from unnecessary slavery, at home and elsewhere. Intelligent leisure is where her passions will lie and may lead to a fulfilling source of income. She should know that the best things in life are not cheap. Working hard for them is no crime but not at the expense of her well-being. Taking time out for spiritual growth and for a chance to smell the roses will be refreshment for her soul.

Her life is hers for the making – it won’t be a fairy tale and the happy ending may take a long time. There’ll be frogs to kiss and dragons to slay…but whatever happens I hope she never forgets…that in the end…. a mother is a girl’s best friend!