|Make love and pots|
I’m not usually one for offering advice on relationships. My
efforts in this sphere have not been particularly noteworthy and could be classified
as bordering on disastrous.
However every failure serves as a valuable lesson
in the art of living and, from that standpoint, my experiences have been pure gold!
In order to understand why we choose partners as we do we
have to go back to childhood. Who were our role models? Were they people to
look up to or people who made us vow to ourselves that we would never do as
|"You remind me of my ogre of an uncle"|
Our parents are our first advisers. Their choices become ours
and their subtle influences are echoed in the way we vote, dye or not dye our hair and the way we stir
Even in looks and personal characteristics we select partners who
either resemble our parents physically or characteristically - dark hair, doe eyes, crooked smile,
sultry lisp or ones who have the same geniality, pragmatism, indecisiveness
Yes, we are attracted to negative traits as much as anything else.
In fact, when it comes to the law of attraction, we’ll go for good looks and
poor character rather than average looks and healthy character.
So how can we escape this internal programming? The best way
is to have a purpose or goal in mind. Now that’s easy to say but when
you’re a teenager or twenty something your head is swimming with a million
useless facts and figures – the vital statistics you may be concentrating on have nothing to do with your life plan!
|Is he your cup of tea?|
Once the craziness (and hormones) pass you’ll start wondering
what the bigger picture is. Are you meant to be a desk bound executive or a
freelance horticulturalist? Do you stay in this job for the next 10 years, get
a mortgage etc.? What are you really looking for?
In our salad days, none of us really know. We go out to a bar
one evening with friends and we’re introduced to the person we’ll have to spend
a period of time in romantic bliss. We have no idea of our compatabillty until
the relationship is under way.
Sometimes we’re trying so hard to look as if we’re
in control and put forth the best
impression that we miss the warning signs that Mr Maybe-Right is Mr
Perhaps-Wrong. The flare of irritation when we don’t return their calls
promptly; the hurtful comment about our dress sense, criticism of our family
members and the glint in their eye when they observe another man’s admiration.
|Find love doing what you love|
No matter how many relationships you have been in or out of
you must never lose sight of your personal strengths. Whatever it may
be….writing, painting, tinkering with cars, needlecraft, baking, gardening,
interior/ graphic design, event or holiday planning, keeping fit or jewelery
making….stick with it.
|You need the right tools|
Through thick and thin, your interests are a constant.
They’ll never wake up and tell you that they don’t love you. They’ll never put
you down. They’ll never make you feel that you’re worth nothing. They’ll never
threaten you or ask you to choose between them.
Your ideas and interests that
become passion projects will be a source of comfort forever. And I mean
happily forever after!
|Students of life|
Once you immerse yourself in your projects…the
unexpected might happen and you’ll meet “the one”.
He won’t be perfect and he may remind you of your Dad (in a good way) but at least
you’ll have plenty to share since you’ll have common interests…..birds of a
feather do flock together…so get your binoculars out and take up ornithology!