Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Lost and Found : Me, Myself and I

Living in a box?
Most women(and some men) have felt like going to bed for a year and staying there. It’s so tempting just to lay there and forget all your responsibilities. 

How do you feel when you awake in the morning?

Bursting with energy, ruminating over the challenging day ahead, thinking over what you’d tell your boss (if you win the lottery), replaying that argument you had with your mother, wondering what happened to your resolutions for self-improvement, believing that you are here to provide unpaid housekeeping services or generally feeling listless?

If you’re anything like me then it’ll be a combination of all of the above with bits of borrowing from the world at large. You’re under psychic attack without really being aware of it!

The time of my life?
Running away from your life is something we’ve all contemplated at some point or another….those of us who’ve had a life, of course.

A lot of women, once they reach middle age, feel so demoralised and so accepting of their lot in life that they come to believe that change is impossible.
Worse still, when they do try, they receive so much negative feedback from their families and friends that they give up even before they  start.

When you’ve lived a conventional life, ticked all the boxes, shown up when you’re supposed to,  baked and shopped, been a shoulder to cry on, smiled through the pain, ….you find you’ve lost yourself and no one has any investment in allowing you to find yourself.

Family, friends and the wider world will conspire to keep you lost or asleep… if you’ve decided to spend a year in your pajamas.  They’ll fret and fume as you loll around in bed and ask for your breakfast, lunch, dinner with lashings of mellow Ceylon and custard creams to boot. 

 Perhaps you’ve dreamed about catching up on those TV shows from yester-year: “Quantum Leap” , “Charlie’s Angels”, “Friends” and “Sabrina, the teenage witch”. All the shows that make your family groan and grimace if you try to get a sneak peak in between their viewing.
Think of the mayhem that would ensue if you took a quantum leap into your own life!

Think of your neglected intellectual property, it’s in dire need of a complete overhaul – new wiring, plaster, fixtures and fittings. Wouldn’t you love to curl up with a few good books - Messrs Mills and Boon will pull out all the stops to whet your reading appetite though the classics might be better suited to eradicating the dust mites clogged in your brain cells.
In for repairs

Losing yourself means losing your passion and zest and there’s a lost property office somewhere that has a trunk marked: “Me, Myself and I.”

You’ll have to do some travelling into your interior world to even start this woman-hunt. There's a voice inside you that you often silence or ignore when you’re sorting the laundry, cleaning out the cat litter, clearing the broom cupboard and mooning over  whether you’ll drive that little bit farther to a new supermarket to bag a bargain. When your head’s a jumble of necessity and trivia is it any surprise that your passions can’t compete?!!

The truth is that you didn’t lose it; it got drained away under the heavy weight of duties and care. Your zest lies embittered beneath the stack of dishes in the dishwasher and the pile of junk that you’re waiting to dispose of. It’s not too late so stick your finger in the dam!

Challenge yourself to be yourself
So when did you decide to ditch your dreams? Was it when you sought approval and found rejection? Do you need approval to be who you are? Has no one noticed that you’ve changed – inside and out? When did the doubting and mistrusting of yourself begin? Does the voice in your head have terminal laryngitis? Is there a life-sized tumour standing in the way of being or becoming who you are?

These are disconcerting questions though none you’ve not considered before when you’ve been in a pyjama state.

If you can’t spend a year then reserve a day for contemplation in your jim jams.  One delicious day for dipping in and savouring some soul time.  Be selfish and devote this time to yourself; remembering the girl or boy you used to be. What stirred within then and what would it take to float your boat once more? Your ambitions might have had the majesty of the Titanic but they’re not sunk yet.

Be your own hero
Throw yourself a life line (or maybe a dinghy) and sail away into your ocean of hidden possibilities and endless potential and search for that pearl. Life is too glorious to waste on the mundane. 

Put passion on your shopping list and it could make a grand entrance into your life. Cock a snoot to your critics; they lost themselves years ago and despite satellite navigation they can’t find themselves!

 Live in hope, take action and think big…..you’re too important not to. Vibrant and passionate that’s who you are so hold on to it….keep it safe but use it….and you’ll always be a winner!



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