Sunday, 9 December 2012

Any sex marriage


The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, has gone on record saying that he will pass laws to allow same sex marriage as he doesn’t want to exclude anyone from “a great institution” – oh really? What planet is Mr Cameron living on: “ Planet Happy-Ever-After”? Mr Cameron like many “happily” marrieds are living in a false reality and think that because they have achieved some degree of conviviality with their spouses, it’s the same for the rest of us.

Marriage is a minefield. It’s a dangerous pleasure and if you indulge in it with Mr/Ms Wrong you’ll find yourself jousting with them  all the way to the divorce courts. Marriage does not change or become “great” just because the two people in it are of the same sex or not. The fears, foibles, virtues and vices of each party will be thrown into the arena and the battle begins.

When two brides go to war
Marriage can be a gladitorial arena and the strongest may survive it. In marriage you will find the controlled and the controllable, the serial bride and groom, the dreamer and the doer, the pragmatist and the fantasist, the yin and the yang. Opposites do not attract and are not attractive. 

It is far better to live with your “similar”  than your “dissimilar”. Anyone who married their opposite suffers in silence and becomes passive/aggressive archetypes. They turn their frustrations (wrought by their spouses) inwards and inflict considerable psychological damage to themselves. They under-eat or overeat, they lose self-confidence and feel worthless, they stay in jobs that damage them in some way, they avoid conflict rather than face up to it, they smile even when the pain is acute, they are afraid of their own shadow.

Loved up on camera
If the PM really cares about the institution of marriage then he’ll be mindful that, if our cars need an annual service to keep them healthy, then what about our relationships? Does the PM only care for “the institution” rather than the body of people who make up the establishment? I suspect he does. This is political rhetoric at its best.

I expect it will be left to the courts to pick up the pieces of the “great institution”. Warring partners and parents bring a whole new meaning to Cameron’s “Big Society”;  a euphemism for “big problems”. I guess it’s more than a little apparent that politicians are out of touch with the electorate and I’m sure that one of Cameron’s spin doctors told him that "same sex" was a vote winner.

Politicians and clerics alike need to leave marriage alone. It is an institution in crisis. It needs some tender loving care from who-knows-where? But where there’s no political will to make significant changes then marriage will muddle through as it has done. The obvious antidote to a poisonous marriage is separation or divorce but this seems to leave a bad taste in the mouth of societal big wigs. 
A loveless marriage is fine as long as you don’t come out and show it......or worse shout about it!?

Happiest day of her life?
When we think of certain developing societies that force marriage on their teenage daughters then what is there to crow about? As long as negative ideas about girls prevail then marriage, in its current state, will be preserved. As we move towards enlightenment then we’ll see marriage as neither  positive or negative.

Marriage is dying, thank God. Many couples choose to be together for love rather than for the formalities of putting a ring on it and throwing a party. Superficiality is so last century and I’m always relieved when I hear that a relationship has failed before the two parties have entered into unholy wedlock. 

We’ve come a long way from the “Miss Havisham” syndrome where a jilted bride or groom waits forlornly for their lover to return. People are just too busy to mourn and, anyway, they’ll get plenty of sympathy and support from their Facebook friends.

No love....then eat cake
Marriage is what it is…..often a mess. Matrimony is a rocky road. Beware of the pretentious tripe that is spewed at wedding fairs by fashion designers, florists and cake makers. It’s a hideous farce and not at all what marriage is about.

Marriage is more than “great” Mr Cameron; it’s a grand and glorious illusion. I don’t blame anyone for indulging in a little slice of it but when bolts of lightning reveal the cracks then be prepared to spread some filler. If filler’s not enough then it may call for your house of cards to come down…and let it come down with dignity and grace. Yes we can all be married but, not many of us happily, and  gender doesn’t matter in the least.

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