Sunday, 27 February 2011

Stress laboratories

Relationships are fraught with difficulties. Human  love can be a weapon of mass destruction - in the wrong hands!

Man/woman inequalities are played out in the arena of marriage and, if statisics can be believed, it's not a huge success.  A brave, new world is upon us with all the opportunities and problems it brings.

Being bound together in holy matrimony has proved an unmitigated disaster. It places upon two people the greatest stress of having to live with the choices they made as a result of little life experience.

The choices and promises we make at 20 will surely not be the same as those we make in our 40's. We are not the same people we were. Life has changed and so have we.
Why then is it so hard for us to admit that the experiment we partcipated in has failed?
Why can we not accept the disappointments and failures in relationships as a catalyst to modify the chemical compounds? After all, in many cases, it was a strange chemistry that drew us to this significant other.

The path to disillusionment is set by society's need to create structures. Marriage and family are structures. Structure is important but there should be fluidity to enable meaningful change.
 In our teens, we are exposed to romantic notions of finding "the one" - someone who will love and comfort us. Someone who will "rescue me and "take me in your arms; 'cos I'm lonely and I'm blue" etc....
As we mature (and our hormones take a ride in the slow lane) we know that this is hogwash.
For worse...or....worser

There's no one out there who knows us better than we know ourselves. There's no one out there to heal our pain.
There's no one who can dry our tears better than us ('cos it's only we who know what we're crying about!)
The stress laboratory where the experiments of relationship are carried out reveal that we are a cheer leading team of one.
One is not a sad number; it's the symbol of power.



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