Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Losing my identity

Following a recent birthday, I find myself at that uncertain age.......uncertain because I'm not sure whether to subscribe to the fact that the middle years have become well and truly established. Each morning,the reflection tells me that the years have been kind. But each year I feel my identity slipping away and as if my spirit has found the light.


Identity crisis? Hopefully

Identity is a series of labels... a process of classification. I balk at the labels foisted on to me by society daughter, sister, wife, employee, teacher. People judge you through their own lens which is either rose or grey coloured. There is very little objectivity out there - what one person finds pleasing, others find repulsive and the great majority are swayed by outward symbols.....from the way you dress to the car you drive.


Labelling people is a subtle form of control. Governments do it so that they can keep tabs on the populace. Once labelled, we are forced to act out such roles in order to fit in and have something in common with our neighbour. Keeping up with the Jones's means thinking like them too. Labels pigeon hole us and when we start acting them out, going against the grain of our true nature, our self- worth is reduced.


When I was a wife, I felt as if I had an impossible job description to fulfill (subtly imposed by the HIM in my life).  When I became a parent the process became even more acute. My children  believe that I'll be cooking and clearing up after them until I drop. Becoming a wife and mother means both losses and gains - you gain a family and lose your identity as an individual.
I am more than what you choose to see

Labels beget a range of  unhealthy expectations. When someone has a negative attitude towards you they inadvertently project this. Sometimes we are not strong enough to cast this off and we end up acting out damaging behaviours. You demonstrate your identity in every waking moment according to your inner motivations.


The best thing of all is to lose it. Lose your identity and then re-invent yourself. It will surprise you and others around you. When you take charge of your individuality and nurture it then you make great strides.
Don't let anyone rain on your parade!

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