Thursday, 26 May 2011

"I love you"......dangerous little words

Relationship Red Alert
It's wonderful to be in love but with whom?
Can you be sure that the person you say you love is the true one?
Is love a barter system and, if so, is there value in your exchange?

Why is it that we are bowled over when the man/woman in our life declares love with those three little words.

1. Are we surprised that someone should find us lovable?
2. Are we not loving ourselves and showing our self-love every day?
3. Do we even know how to love ourselves or anyone else for that matter?

The answers in my book are:

Yes (to the first question)
No (to the second) 
 "What the hell....???" to the third.

Yes, we are in a state of shock when someone finds us lovable, adorable and gorgeous.
No, we do not practice self-love - the greatest love of all.
How the hell can we if we don’t know the rules for love?

In order to reach some clarity about love we have to understand what love is not:

Love is not a romantic song sung in dulcet tones to a host of violins and guitars.
Love is not a blue moon or nor do you "feel it in your fingers and your toes"
Love is not a heat seeking missile set to explode when your hormones / libido reach fever pitch
Love is not eating food (that's dripping in oil, salt and sugar) in a dimly-lit restaurant
Love is not gazing at each other and believing each to be perfect;
Love is not sweet nothings (more sweet somethings)

First love?
Love is not sharing the same living space or even the same bed - no sir!
Love  is not a day dream

If you believe love to be any or all of the above then you are in love or chasing love for all the wrong reasons!

Love is making a difference (you remember what that special other brings into your life and what you bring to theirs)
Love is going through a tough times together and appreciating the challenge
Love is being happy apart as much as together
Love is freedom to pursue your unique destiny
Love is daily conscious actions.....with kindness and tenderness
Love is honouring and respecting your self (first) before the other
Love is having time to think and evaluate your relationship
Love is living the dream.....not waiting for it
Love is letting go.....of the c***

As you can see, love is a huge responsibility and that's why so many of us fail at it (including the married  amongst us).
We simply do not have the spiritual stamina to live up to the promise of marriage.
Our minds, bodies, hearts and spirit are just too weak.
We need rigorous training to achieve anything like a marital state of bliss.

Until then, we will limp along....making a lie....pretending it doesn't matter.....being abused....crying ourselves to sleep.....waking up and thinking it's a new day (when it's just the same old day recycled).

Be careful of that "I love you" - you don't know what it truly means until experience shows you and that's painful - ow!



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