Friday, 6 January 2012

Your Love Worth Indicator

Happy New You!

In this brave new year it appears that us mortals are feeling anything but chirpy and upbeat. The reason for feelings of despondency centre around relationships . Stories of break-ups, separations and divorces all hit after the festive season. Even those in stable relationships seem to go through a bad patch. Trouble and  strife spares no one  from the affluent and super trendy to humble plodders who get by and make do. 

The greatest contradiction is that some couples, upon the announcement that they’re separating , claim to be “beyond heartbroken” and that they’ll always “adore” their partner. If you were so adorable why would you be splitting up? Trying to get to the bottom of why relationships fail is like taking a leap into quantum physics. It’s deep,  littered with anomalies  and mind boggling ideologies.


When there’s a fracture in human relations self esteem usually takes a nose dive. Our fragile egos shatter under the spotlight that reveals our inadequacies and flaws. But who said we were perfect? And who’s judging who? Why is it not okay to be flawed?

This week the delectable Demi Moore mentioned  in an interview that she does not feel worthy of love. She’s in the throes of divorce from her second husband and is at a low point.  She says : “what scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not loveable, that I'm not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me ... and that I wasn't wanted here in the first place."

Demi's doubts
This is a tragic state of affairs for a woman who is worth millions, looks like a million dollars and is the envy of millions of women. Beautiful women suffer from extraordinary insecurity and no amount of money can buy self worth. Ms Moore and countless women like her are just not comfortable with themselves. They’ve allowed to men to become a sort of yard stick for their sense of worth. A woman whose confident as a result of the arm candy she’s become is a woman on the road to ruin. 

Her Love Worth Indicators (LWI) are in the eyes of a cheater, the lips of a serial, sweet nothing whisperer and wrapped in his arms he’ll drag you further into a web of deceit.

No one is unlovable though there are some human specimens who will challenge you on that one!
There’s a lot less wrong with Ms Moore than she thinks and a large dose of uncommon sense is just what the love doctor recommends. As for not being wanted....I suggest Ms Moore digs deep into her past and finds the germ that infiltrated her healthy, emotional defences. This goes back to childhood and the feeling of being unloved by parents and other authority figures. Ms Moore suffers more than the rest of us as she may believe, that due to her success, she has a right to happiness. Happiness is not a right but a noble aspiration.

I suspect that Ms Moore is indulging in a spot of self-pity and she’s entitled to wallow but don’t do it for too long. Pity is like a quick sand that drags you down into depression and melancholy and when you realise you’re sinking and want to get out, you’ll find yourself well and truly stuck.

Your Love Worth Indicators are your own feelings about yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself; feel your feelings. Don’t hold back the tears and face up to your fears. Never let a man turn you into something you’re not. Never make excuses and allowances to preserve a relationship that does not serve you.  
Your higher self requires respect and validation. Your spirit wants to rise above the visible. It wants freedom from unhealthy relationships and attachments.

Who are you in the quiet moments? Do you like yourself when're you're alone?
 We have to work on becoming the people we'd really like to spend time with.
This is our goal for the new year and every year.

Perhaps the real question we’re asking is.... is love worthy of us?
And the answer is YES - we are loveable, we are wanted and it is our right be here.
I'm worth it....are you?



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